I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
