Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
