i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
