Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
