I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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