She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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