wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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