A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize