it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
