yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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