She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
