Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I looked at my own cervix.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
