You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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