how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
