I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she smelled like a LAN party
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
