Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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