jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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