DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wear drunk well.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
