it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize