Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8

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(509): View more from Washington

Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

(253): View more from Washington

was*

(509): View more from Washington

True, R.I.P.

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(509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin (253): was* (509): True, R.I.P. http://tfl.nu/u2pm

Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (2272)
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(618): View more from Illinois

he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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(618): he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever. http://tfl.nu/csmh

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(850): View more from Florida

The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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(850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man. http://tfl.nu/ikii

Replies (36) Good night (4962) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad

Replies (25) Good night (4254) Bad night (676)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I slept with him to see his dog one last time

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(248): I slept with him to see his dog one last time http://tfl.nu/kvlf

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(206): View more from Washington

Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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(206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8

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(650): View more from California

Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human

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(650): Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human http://tfl.nu/6fr0

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.

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(218): You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes. http://tfl.nu/x3hi

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(805): View more from California

Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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(805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03

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(908): View more from New Jersey

HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.

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(908): HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW. http://tfl.nu/s4dk

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(567): View more from Ohio

Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good

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(567): Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good http://tfl.nu/gp9h

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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(606): I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket. http://tfl.nu/x07r

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(716): View more from New York

Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!

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(716): Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick! http://tfl.nu/u1do

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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(586): I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins. http://tfl.nu/rkqp

Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (269)

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