dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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