My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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