so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
