HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
