love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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