Banned from zoo.
Again?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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