He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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