I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize