I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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