i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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