TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
