she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
