I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize