He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Found your dick twin last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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