Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
