I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
