So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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