It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
