u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize