Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
