11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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