Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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