that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
