I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
