Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
