i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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