I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
