you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Never underestimate the power of titties
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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