Your face is a jimmy john
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
