piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
