I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
