I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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