Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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