come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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