ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
