You're completely useless in the revolution.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just puked most of my soul out..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
