Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
