He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
