I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
