i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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