woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
